Sunday, December 14, 2008
Monday, September 8, 2008
ex-husband and ex-wife
Dear Wife: I ' m writing you this letter to tell you that I ' m leaving you forever. I ' ve been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favourite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
...................................
Dear Ex-Husband - Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favourite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MYSISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the £49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty quid from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the lottery for ten million pounds, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a penny from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
...................................
Dear Ex-Husband - Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favourite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MYSISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the £49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty quid from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the lottery for ten million pounds, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a penny from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
alert-new virus!
ALERT -- DANGEROUS NEW VIRUSThere is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally and by hand.This virus is called Weary-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.If you should come into contact with WORK, put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest store. Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.You should forward this warning to 5 friends. If you do not have 5 friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life .
Monday, June 2, 2008
talking shit
A stranger was seated next to a little 5th grade girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, 'Wanna talk?'I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger, the man said quietly.
The little girl, who had just opened her school book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?'Oh, I don't know, said the stranger. 'How about nuclear power?'OK, she said. 'That could be an interesting topic' But, let me ask you a question first, said the 5th grader.A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass, right?The man said 'Yes'The little girl said 'Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. So, why do you suppose that is?'The stranger thinks about it a minute and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea'.To which the little girl replies: 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?'
The little girl, who had just opened her school book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?'Oh, I don't know, said the stranger. 'How about nuclear power?'OK, she said. 'That could be an interesting topic' But, let me ask you a question first, said the 5th grader.A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass, right?The man said 'Yes'The little girl said 'Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. So, why do you suppose that is?'The stranger thinks about it a minute and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea'.To which the little girl replies: 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?'
Monday, May 26, 2008
The forward came as "China Prepares for the Olympics"
Have some of the pics in other blogs but what I loved is the fact that someone was even more creative than the pictures and added the caption,"China Prepares for Olympics"
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
someday Britney Spears will grow on trees
This is what they had to say..."This is amazing tree named "Nareepol" in Thai. Naree means "girl/woman" and pol means plant/tree or "buah" in Malay. It means women tree. It is amazing how God created the world in many forms that amused human beings.... You can see the real tree at Petchaboon province about almost 500 kms away from Bangkok. "
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