a few quick ones

At the end of our first date the girl told me I was crazy in the head and I
should be committed to a mental institution.
Why do women always want us to make a commitment?
--Unknown
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After the accident, I told the police officer I thought the
driver of the other vehicle was drunk. He told me the other
vehicle was a cow.
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I like to buy women a lot of drinks, not so much to lessen
their inhibitions as to lower their standards.
--Unknown